Holton & Wheatley CC at Great Haseley, thirty overs (8 a side) Scorecard - www.pitchero.com/clubs/bodleiancc/teams/255079/match-centre/0-5240262/scorecard After the mid-week trouser-shredding Twenty20 against Oxfam at the parched Stanton St. John, which saw Bodley falling just short yet again, it was time to re-group under yet another blazing sun at yet another baked brown ground and try to get back to winning ways. The scene of todays quest was to be Great Haseley, and the opposition Holton & Wheatley, a recent find that have provided a good natured yet challenging game for Bodley. Having lost our initial encounter last year this would be a perfect opportunity to get back in that winning groove that has proved a little elusive this season. Unfortunately, the demands of holidays, academic endeavours, honeymoons and hearty familial lunches led to Bodley’s assembled ranks being somewhat thin on the baked ground today, with only a scratch eight committed to the endeavour. Moreover, Dave Busby appeared to be in full ‘Bruce Banner’ mode and seemed determined to enter the fray bare chested. Needless to say it was a little difficult to guess quite how this was all going to play out. On a brighter note, today did witness the return to the fold of Bodley’s very own Pollyanna, David Shackleton, now finally back from his extended sojourn in California studying – and details still remain somewhat vague – endangered Hummingbirds who write Dystopian Poetry. Still not a clue? Me neither. Having lost the toss, Bodley took to the field under a blazing sun. With commanding views over rolling Oxfordshire affluence, the Great Haseley pitch would prove to be a challenge to any fielding side today. Reachable boundaries and a baked hard outfield like an upturned saucer meant that there were runs to be had if gaps in the field were exploited, and the ball given just a bit of persuasion to skittle to the rope. Holton & Wheatley had generously lent a fielder which would prove useful but there were still gaps-a-plenty in an outfield that looked quick and played even quicker. With so many regular front-line bowlers absent, Matthew Neely deemed it wise to lead by example and as such surrendered the gloves to Tim Philipson, who gingerly accepted the promotion and hoped that Extras would not play a starring role today. And with Stuart Ackland leading the attack from the other end, the innings started well, with an initial maiden from Neely followed by an anaemic brace from Ackland. Even the now legendary Ackland ‘slower ball’ – the ‘Higgs Boson’ of bowling, a unique phenomenon that exists, some scientists speculate, purely due to the ‘quantum excitation’ of the cricket field – did not result in the equally legendary boundary. Once the batters had gauged the pace and bounce however, the wicket seemed to offer very little to the bowlers, and it wasn’t long before Holton & Wheatley settled into a pattern of risk-reward play that saw scrappy periods punctuated by high scoring interludes. It was with some relief therefore when the prolific Sanders was caught by Neely off Ackland for a damage limitation 13 in the forth over. This brought Thakore to the crease and it was soon clear that the show was very much back on the road when, after surviving a difficult chance at fine leg, the spikes were very much pressed to the metal and the score rapidly accumulated. It wasn’t until Robinson tempted Barrett into an expansive off-side drive that was neatly pouched by Andrew Milner that the score started to slow a little, but any hopes of a collapse were soon thwarted by Thakore who clearly now had the measure of the pitch, with Switala providing obdurate batting from the other end. And despite tidy line and length from Milner and Shackleton, and a lot of air from Busby, the remainder of the innings was a blur of boundaries and hard running which saw Holton & Wheatley compile a very competitive 174 from 30 overs, with Thakore and Switala both seeing out the innings unbeaten on 88 and 48 respectively. And so to a well deserved break for tea. As there was no ‘Home’ team tea was very much a return to the ‘self-service’ of the covid period, though this did mean the welcome return of the famous Milner picnic which today included a rather splendid whole Lemon Drizzle Cake. Needless to say this went down a lot better than Neely’s vegetarian Teriaki bites, which bore more than a passing resemblance to flattened rodent excrement, and tasted just as good. Shackleton was back to his usual ebullient self with anything and everything unaccountably ‘AMAZING!’, which suggested that he may have joined some weird Californian love cult, but only time and the appearance of the giveaway ‘pamphlet’ would confirm that either way. He seemed also to have developed a penchant for Rose’ wine which, for our readers in the North, is two-parts Romanian red to one part Blue Nun. All too soon the respite was over and it was the turn of Holton & Wheatley to spend some time scampering about the scorched earth as Bodley embarked on the chase. Today Bodley reverted to a traditional opening partnership, with Neely striding out with the languid Shackleton at his side. And with a run-a-ball required things started on a very positive note, with Neely directing the first two deliveries to the boundary like a Policeman on Point Duty, and the first over going for an above-rate 10 runs. Taylor and Fry soon reigned in the optimism of the Bodley contingent however and the promised run-fest degenerated into pure attrition with only three runs conceded over the next couple of overs. Worse was to come in the forth over with Shackleton feathering an edge that was athletically pouched by Switala behind the stumps. The loss of Bodley’s very own walking, talking, Mr Timotei would have resulted in deep howls of fatalistic despair in the past, but not today in the new, more steely Bodley psyche. And as a deeply penitent Shackleton sloped back into the Clubhouse and the restorative comfort of his Oxygen Tent, a sense of anticipation welled-up on the boundary as veteran campaigner Milner strode out to the crease with a purposeful air. Sporting his new ‘pimped’ cricketing shoes, the steely gaze and lantern jaw gave him more than a passing resemblance to a young Jack Palance. Indeed, Bodley were lucky to be able to call upon the services of this cricketing legend following his recent recovery from injury. Having rather foolishly heeded advice from Bodley’s former ‘Director of Fitness’ Stephen Arnold, Milner had ‘girded his loins’ a little too enthusiastically and suffered an injury that could only be described as ‘indelicate’. Quite why he chose to place so much faith in an exercise regime that drew inspiration from both Monkey Magic and an old Luftwaffe PT manual is perhaps best glossed over. Today however he seemed to be firing on almost-all cylinders due to his new Patent ‘Liz Truss’ which seemed to be keeping everything in order, despite somewhat restricting his freedom of movement and making him veer alarmingly to the right on occasion. Regardless, the combination of the wiley, experienced Milner and the bountiful batting of Neely added real impetus to the flagging innings and by the twelfth over Bodley were rattling along with 58 runs on the board with both batters finding the boundary and gaps with well run singles. As George Harrison once lamented however, all things must pass, and so it was that Milner, who has forgotten more about the game than many callow youngsters will ever know, seemed to have inexplicably forgotten where his off-stump was and was duly bowled by Barrett. This came as something of a shock on the boundary who had begun to settle in for some entertaining viewing, not least Philipson who was next up and displaying the chuntered signs of that all-too familiar psychological battle regarding the requisite approach to batting. With a compromise reached it was with a sense of inevitability that this would take the form of a punched half-volley that so lacked conviction it could have stood as the local Lid-Dem candidate. Needless to say the opportunity was easily pouched and the chuntering duly recommenced on that long trudge back to the pavilion. The parched ground was ready-made for big hitters so things brightened a little when Robinson arrived at the crease and gouged his usual ‘v’ that seemed to signify victory on this searing summers day. And again the portents were good, with Robinson – very much the ‘Ronseal’ of Bodley cricket – quickly finding his range and the boundary, and adding renewed impetus to the Bodley innings. Just as things were again starting to get interesting, and with Bodley approaching a hundred up, a quick single proved our undoing with Robinson just short of his ground after some good work in the field, and run-out for a well struck twelve. This brought James Riley to the middle, and after a few well-judged leaves he began to settle with some doughty defence. At the other end meanwhile, Neely had somewhat dismissively passed his fifty and seemed to be motoring along with no obvious cause for alarm. The problem seemed to be that there was a very real risk that he would run out of batting partners if we were not careful, and it seemed that Holton & Wheatley sensed the same as the strike bowlers returned to try and skittle out the tail. It was unfortunate that Riley found himself in these pacey crosshairs and a probing delivery finally breached his defences and found the stumps. Next out was Busby who, having been persuaded to wear a top, took his place at the crease and then violently assaulted it with his bat as-per tradition. Now as any seasoned follower of Bodley will attest, Busby’s development at the crease over the years is rather like the transformation of Peter Stringfellow to Elder Statesman, and when he takes guard that existential Rubicon between sangfroid and sheer bloody panic is very narrow indeed. And so it was that after a brief demonstration of his infamous lateral crease movement Busby settled into his role. Now some say that when the rays of the sun catch the blade of his trusty Slazenger the release of linseed oil vapour sets the synapses in that studied cricketing brain pinging about like a neurological pinball chain-reaction and turns this unassuming Bodley journeyman into a cricketing Robocop. It is, sadly, neither the time nor place to take any definitive position on this most interesting hypothesis, but it was certainly ‘HOT HOT HOT’ out there and that Slazenger blade was soon swinging like a Boars Hill Bohemian, and with Neely continuing to swat away at the other end the runs and pace began to pick up. It therefore came as a bit of a blow when the sheer bloody fun of it ending in the 28th over, though not before the partnership had added a stonking 50 runs to the tally which, incredibly, saw Bodley claw themselves back into the game. With Bodley only mustering eight players Ackland found himself promoted up the order today, and with a nonchalance that frankly belied expectations, picked up his still-shiny unblemished bat and made his way out into the middle. A seasoned player, Ackland has always been something of a perennial guilty favourite with the crowd, who know they will always be treated to a display of exciting, unconventional batting, albeit not for very long. And true to form, Ackland was the consummate crowd pleaser, giving a Mayfly-esque bravura batting exhibition that burned bright and then faded to the accompanying soundtrack of a philistine ball clattering into stumps, and Bodley all out for a hard fought 135. And so drew to a close yet another Bodley innings that almost, but not quite, delivered that much sought next victory. Holton & Wheatley had recovered from an early setback to post what proved to be a score just beyond the range of a depleted Bodley that had not quite fired on all cylinders today. However, if the result was a little disappointing, as always there were some real positives to take away from the game, not least a new best high-score from Neely who carried his bat after a magisterial knock of 83. The sight of ‘Beserker Busby’ running amok with a bat out in the middle is also a sight to cheer even the hardest of hearts. The bowling had been pretty tight, but yet again Bodley had the misfortune to come up against a couple of batters who scored heavily and proved difficult to remove. And of course there was the not-quite triumphant return of Shackleton who, despite being a little ring-rusty, still had an unfeasibly high elbow which we trust will be on show for the remainder of the season. AMAZING! And so, as is traditional, a few welcome cooling drinks were had in the still glorious sunshine and much indulgent reflection undertaken. Perhaps it was the effects of too much sun but before long Busby had scampered off in search of little women, which we hoped was an oblique literary allusion. Either way, he seemed quite content gazing down rabbit holes in what may or may not have been some obscure bibliophilic quest. We shall perhaps have to watch South Today to find out the answer to that particular mystery, but until then we shall gently gird loins in preparation for what promises to be a stern test of resolve against top-tonkers Oxford County Council Staff. TP.
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Note from the Ed.Generally written on the night of the match after a valedictory pint. Any sparkling prose or accuracy is entirely accidental. Archives
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