Strollers CC at Exeter College ground. 35 overs.
Scorecard - www.pitchero.com/clubs/bodleiancc/teams/255079/match-centre/0-5310474/scorecard As all Physicists, Philosophers and Brian Cox types acknowledge, there exist some primordial Universal Constants. Halley's Comet making its brief, spectacular appearance every 75 years; Charles I failing to retain his ‘Hat Wearer of the Year’ title in 1649; yet another ‘Never to be Repeated’ sale at World of Leather. To these must be added the sight of the Mighty Bodleian taking to the Field of Dreams as they embark on yet another ambitious and expectant cricket season. The first match of 2022 presented challenges aplenty. The opposition – Strollers CC – were new and therefore something of an unknown quantity. Although the ‘Venn Diagram of Equivalent Competence’ had decreed that mutual connections with Great Haseley supposedly guaranteed a suitable match, such initial encounters are to be treated with utmost caution – harsh experience has taught Bodley that cricket has the unnerving tendency to compel teams to understate actual ability with often unedifying consequences. Such considerations were however for another time and place – this was the first game of the new season and a Positive Mental Attitude was all that was required to see us through to winning ways. Such positive thoughts somewhat evaporated when we discovered that the much vaunted Hertford College venue had in fact been switched to the adjacent sports ground, which wouldn’t have been such a problem if the access gate hadn’t been chained shut, Pavillion locked and trivial crickteting trinkets such as stumps nowhere to be seen. The former problem was solved by Gareth’s inspired suggestion to merely lift the gate off its hinges (best not to ask how he is aware of this technique) and after a slight delay stumps and bails were also acquired and so it was that the first game of Bodleys season was set to begin. The weather was the usual mid-spring mix of warming sunshine offset by a bracing breeze that demanded layers and with the pitch inspection revealing a potentially tricky batting wicket Gareth, having won the toss, elected to field first and chase down whatever total the Strollers could scratch. Bodley’s speed demon and Youth Policy flag-bearer Dan Shaw opened the bowling with Silver Phil Burnett helping restrict scoring from the other end, and this guileful combination soon brought results with the swift dismissal of both Beechcroft and Maurice with only 9 runs on the board. At such moments experience has taught the sheer folly of daring to dream and so it was that the Strollers reset, settled into the groove and began to claw their way back into the game with an ever-expanding repertoire of shots. Bowlers and tight fielding nevertheless contained the flow of runs and with the score on 56 Shackleton removed Weir for a well earned 23, soon followed by James Shaw trapping Allen LBW for 22 leaving the Strollers on 56 for four. The arrival of the middle order at the crease saw a cat and mouse game of attrition as Bodley again mixed up the bowling and brought on the mercurial Andrew Milner and diffident yet deceptive Dom Hewitt and it wasn’t long before the latter had McQuirk bamboozled and chalked up a well-deserved wicked. Spin-meister Milner helped restrict the run rate still further and with 30 overs gone the Strollers were looking a little unsteady on their feet with 8 wickets down and only 113 runs on the board. The temptation to again contemplate such glorious possibilities alas came crashing down as the Strollers tail began to wag most ominously. A mix of clever and expansive risk-reward batting by Young in particular saw the run-rate accelerate as the overs ticked on, despite excellent wicket keeping by Matthew Neely, a live-wire performance in the slips by Milner and tidy fielding throughout The Strollers timed their dash for the line to perfection and finished on the useful – though not insurmountable – total of 168 at the close of their innings, with Young recording an impressive 56 not out. Lunch was a curious throwback to pre-pandemic times with Sandwiches, snacks and cake provided for one-and-all, served on a random collection of wooden logs that didn’t appear to have come from Ikea. Although exceedingly convivial this did mean the sad absence of Milners picnic ensemble which had proved such a hit for the last two seasons. Bodley’s very own Dorian Gray Dave Busby took full advantage of the glut of cake on offer and would remain shrouded in crumbs well into our innings. In a clever ruse to keep the opposition guessing skipper Gareth had cleverly omitted to commit any batting order to either paper or mind, and so it came to pass that Bodley engaged in the run chase with an unusual opening partnership. As followers of the team are no doubt aware the Bodleian comprises an eclectic bunch of individuals, not least poacher turned gamekeeper David Shackleton who has exchanged the indolent life of the Undergraduate for the indolent life of the Academic. Due to the imminent threat of nuclear war reigniting the inexplicably dormant interest in North American Hummingbirds, Shackleton has managed to bag himself a piece of the research action and will soon desert these shores for sunnier climes, leaving a much coveted vacancy for opening batsman. A decision to hold ‘open auditions’ for said role was won by Judge and Jury Stuart Ackland and as such our very own Sorcerer and his Apprentice purposefully strode out to the middle to chase down the Strollers. Slow and Steady. Plenty of time. Thus are the eternal watchwords for any Bodleian innings and today these proved to be the order of the day and then some. With a required run rate of a little under five per over Bodley made a confident initial response to the task in hand – give or take four runs an over – but the key was not to lose early wickets. ‘Platforms’ (and runs, obviously) win matches afterall, and so it was with a sense of nervous anticipation that we watched the action unfold on the field of play. Shackleton played like he had never been away from the game (which he probably hasn’t, being an inveterate ‘netter’) and there is always something reassuring when you catch a glimpse of that high elbow pushing through the line of the ball. With his new shiny bat Stuart looked every inch the batsman he believed himself to be and all held their collective breath when he appeared to track the ball with laser-like focus and eye the distant boundary. It came as a bit of a shock therefore when the ball turned out to be on an entirely different track and the bails went flying, earning Stuart the first duck of the season. It was clear that runs were proving to be just as difficult for Bodley to scrape as had been the case for the Strollers early doors, although the key difference seemed to be the steady loss of wickets that would increasingly take the game away from us. This was not helped when Stuart re-entered the field of play as Umpire, and with the inevitability of death it was not long before Shackleton was sent on his way by the dreaded finger, having added 10 elegantly crafted runs to the total. Although James continued the chase with his customary lithe batting, Stroller Weir soon added to his tally with a fine delivery removing Matthew for a rare duck which led to the customary mad scramble to pad up – a race duly won by Phil who purposefully strode out to enter the fray. After compiling a well batted 16 James too fell foul of the dreaded Ackland finger leaving the scorer scrambling for a pencil sharpener to try and keep pace with developments. It was now the turn of Skipper Jones to steady the ship in the way he knows best and so began a fine demonstration of Boycottian obduracy at the crease. Phil was next to succumb to the steady line and length of Weir, given LBW by you know who for a well-worked sixteen – Ackland was truly excelling himself today with LBW’s exceeding his run tally by a factor of infinity. With Dan now at the crease spectators settled back to enjoy the clash of batting philosophies now being played out in the middle. The much anticipated comedy run-out did not alas transpire as the spirit of Boycott momentarily slipped anchor and Gareth indulged in an expansive shot that saw his bails cartwheeling. The batting order – if not the score – was motoring along by this point and Tim was next in line, determined to reign in his more suicidal heaves across the line. Any chance of a settled partnership was soon put to the sword however as McQuirk demonstrated how a slower ball ought to be bowled with Dan removed for not many. The revolving door next delivered Dom to the middle who started to nurdle runs like a young Mike Webb before, predictably, an entirely characteristic heave down leg saw Tim top edge a dolly which was uncharitably held. After yet more furious sharpening of the scorers pencil it duly recorded Milner striding out to join the action. James’ assurance that the high-pitched squeaks were from the swarms of Green Parakeets circling the ground and not Andrew’s new hand-carved ivory knees – yet another impulsive home-working purchase – provided reassurance, and clearly the investment had been wise as he soon got in his eye in, with a fabulous four casually bludgeoned back over the bowlers head a particular highlight. As was increasingly evident nothing stands still for long during a Bodleian innings and so it was that Dom was next to fall from a tidy bit of Stroller bowling. The long storied history of Bodleian CC has seen memorable players and partnerships aplenty and so it was that Dave Busby now joined Andrew at the crease to roll back the years and try and prevent an ‘all out’ for our first match of the campaign. That famous lateral Busby movement complemented the languid flair of Milner perfectly and so it was that these stalwarts finally saw out the innings, Milner scoring an impressive 15 and Busby contributing with a well stuck boundary. And so Bodley retired from the field of dreams on 89/9 and the opening day laurels went to the Strollers. The bowling had been tight with Dan taking an impressive four wickets, with James, Stu, Shackleton and Hewitt all adding to the bag, and the fielding generally sharp and catches taken despite the constructive ‘your shit’ verdict from the Marston locals. The weak link had been the batting, with settled scoring partnerships proving elusive, but the positives outweighed the negative in what, after all, is only a game. A post-match beer and debrief in the pub followed where fine ales were consumed and agreement reached, yet again, that under no circumstances should Stuart be allowed to umpire. And so ended the first match of what must surely be another epic season. To be sure, Bodley fell a little short of the required total but victories can be measured in many different ways, and for the Bodleian to be taking to the field of play once again in 2022, fired up as ever for a competitive yet convivial campaign is itself a victory in these uncertain times. Hold onto your hats – the season has just begun… TP.
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Note from the Ed.Generally written on the night of the match after a valedictory pint. Any sparkling prose or accuracy is entirely accidental. Archives
September 2022
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